Your guests will feel understood, seen and celebrated

At an elopement or wedding, the comfort and experience of your guests is, undoubtedly, a priority for you. Hiring an LGBTQ+ photographer who can bring an awareness and comfort with pronouns, relationship types, boundaries, etc. is an important step in making sure guests feel free to be themselves and be fully present celebrating you.

1. We use non-gendered language in all of our communications with clients. From initial emails to contracts to day-of chit-chat, we’re mindful of only incorporating gendered language requested by our clients. 

• We use non-gendered terms like “nearly-weds” rather than gendered ones like “bride” and “groom”. If a couple refers to themselves in a certain way, we do so.

• We ask our clients which pronouns they use on our intake form so we can get it right, right from the start.

• If we directly refer to clients in our marketing, we use their appropriate pronouns and terms.

Recently, we posted a TikTok video about the term “same-sex” specifically aimed to help other wedding industry professionals like ourselves be more inclusive allies. When we initially talked about the concept for that video, we thought it might be overly simple or obvious. After all, in a time when binaries are blasted open and complexities and nuance abound, how could we possibly still think a term as defined and rigid as “same-sex” would be widely applicable? I scrolled through my own mental rolodex and couldn’t identify more than 2 couples in my wide, beautiful queer community that might identify as “same-sex”. Though we didn’t know how much attention it might get, we pushed forward and made this little video. 

And dang, did we get a response. It was thrilling to see the views climb but when we read the comments, we were surprised to see a smattering of ignorance, ego and nonchalance that just had to be addressed. So, without further ado, we give you the top 5 reasons we don’t use the term “same-sex” without explicit permission from a couple! 

1. Marginalizing or erasure of trans and nonbinary folks: Using same-sex to address or label a couple when one or both members are trans or nonbinary erases their sexual identity and, likely, applies a binary sex to them. Not great, right?

2. Oversimplification of a complicated thing: Sex is not static. The sex of an individual may well be evolving at any given time. What a beautiful thing! If they’re in the midst of self-discovery and boundary-laying, applying a label doesn’t respect the complex adventure they’re on. 

3. Some people just plain don’t want to be referred to as their sex. To ensure I don’t make generalizations, I’ll just speak personally here: I don’t need anyone else talking about my sex, thanks. I’m cisfemale. I identify as a dyke and queer. I consider my gender somewhat fluid. I use she/her and they/them pronouns. While I don’t believe I’m non-binary, I do itch at “female” as my prescribed sex when I think of all that means (socially, biologically, etc). Thus, I don’t use female as an identifier often and, because I consider my sex and gender exploration underway, definitely don’t like my sex being defined by the sex of my partner, as it would be if someone used the term “same-sex” to my partnership.

4. Asking is always the right answer. Asking a couple directly how they identify and how they’d like to be referred to is your job as a professional and should be a part of your practice with all couples. Just like asking pronouns when collecting contact information, if it’s terminology you’ll use in your working relationship with them, or work in general, you need to get their consent on what labels they use. Further, these questions should be asked of every couple, not just couples you believe may be LGBTQ+. Applying the same process to all couples, regardless of sex or gender, ensures you’re not singling out perceived LGBTQ+ couples and normalizes this process with a wider audience.  

5. Asking and understanding someone’s sex or gender expression is a gift. And everyone loves presents. Every time you ask someone for their pronouns and label preferences, you are honoring and protecting their safety, comfort and identity.

Seasonality: Some locations available year-round, Alpine Lakes are best between July-October

Accessibility: Some locations are fully accessible from the road, and some require a hike-in

Features: Mountain trails and overlooks, forest, red rocks, Flatirons, meadows, wildlife, alpine lakes, wildflowers

Distance from Denver: 45 min-1.5 hours depending on location

Fun things to incorporate: Take a walk down the historic Pearl Street Mall with your partner, grab a drink or a bite at a local restaurant and soak in your big day. This area also has some of the cutest Airbnbs! If you’re wanting the ultimate privacy for your big day, rent a cozy A-frame, explore its backyard for your ceremony, and finish the day cuddled up next to the fireplace or soak in a hot tub! I have lots of great Airbnbs that allow events, contact me to learn more!

One of the best parts of choosing to have a Colorado Elopement is being able to select from a wide variety of locations for your ceremony. Whether it’s just you and your partner, or a more intimate group, you generally have more flexibility on when and where you can exchange your vows (like after a remote hike through the woods to say your “I dos” at the top of a mountain). Before selecting a location for your wedding, it’s important to determine if there are any park fees or permits required depending on your group size. This information is usually available from the local city government or recreation department, but feel free to ask me and I can do some of the ground-work, too!